Post Graduation Blues

So, the last couple of days have been rough for me as a college graduate. Let me explain to you why moving home after college graduation is hard.

1. You are leaving your home. I left Provo which was my home. My life was there. My work was there. My roommates were there. My ward was there. My life was there. I left my life in Provo.

2. I lost my identity. I am no longer a student. I am a unemployed college graduate until July 31st when I am Hermana Jensen. Can't wait to be Hermana Jensen. I have no idea who I am any more. Of course, I am a daughter of God. I have been in school since I was 5 years old. My objective everyday was to graduate one day. I reached my destination and I am done ( at least for a couple of years). I have felt like a failure the last couple of days because of my unproductivity. I feel like I am no longer a person because I am not reaching my nonexisting responsabilities. Does that make sense? I have no responsabilities currently except breathinng.

3. I don't have any friends. I was so used to having friends knock on my door at all times of the day to invite me to things or just chat. I had neighbors I could talk to. It felt like I was never alone. For four years, I seem to always have someone near me. I have felt so alone the last couple of days since I don't have neighbors knocking on my door. I have separation anxiety from people. I am not making sense.

4. I loved learning. I avoided going classes sometimes and looked forward to the day of graduation but I miss school. I don't miss reading textbooks to be honest. I loved going to go class and learning something new everyday. I have learned the value of taking advantage of every learning opportunity. I have only been graduated for 1 week and I already miss school.

5. I miss my work. I miss the feeling of importance that my work gave me. I felt valued and felt like I was contributing back to society in some way. I feel like I am a waste of society now.

I could seriously go on about my post graduation blues. I looked it up on google and I feel it completely, but I have to end this post on a positive note. I am moving on. Yes, college were the best years of my life and nothing can ever replace my years at college. I can't write about the extend of my love for college. But, I just want to say that it is time to move one. I have a future ahead of me that is waiting for me. I need to recognize that my life isn't over like I feel it is right now.

I am moving on. So, here's to late college nights drinking kool aid shots and acting like we were so cool. Good memories. I could write so much. But I will miss all the amazing people I met at BYU. Seriously, everyone was amazing and talented and brilliant. I can't say that I loved every moment because I didn't love the moments in the testing center, but I did love my time at BYU and BYUI.

Time to focus on the people of Argentina and my family.

I have great things in my future that I need to prepare for. The people of Argentina will love me and I will love them (as long as I can communicate with them)....haha.

Well, it's bed time folks. After having a breakdown, I have learned that postgraduation blues is common for recent graduates. So, guys, feel normal if you have one too. You are not alone.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Intangible Things

Last night I was thinking about how Disney calls merchandise "tangible memories". I thought it was stupid how they changed the name, but then It made me think about the tangible and intangible things in our lives. There are so many tangible things that we give value to. That one Steve Madden purse I fell in love with has a lot of value to me. Why? Because it is pretty. :) My cell phone has value to me because that is how I keep in contact with my friends and family. I could go on and on about the tangible things I love to have, but the point of this blog is to talk about the intangible things we have.  I think that the value of the intangible things in our lives is much greater than the tangible. The intangible include: love, memories, pain, and joy. These things are hard to measure; we can't hold them in our hand. We can't say I have two ounces of love and one inch of pain. There is no measurement for love. I remember when I was younger reading the book about how m...
Read more

Learning to Let Go

Yes, that is my lesson that I have been learning the last couple of months. Update on my life: I postponed my mission. I feel really good about my decision. I was planning on leaving to the MTC on July 31st. The best way to explain my decision is that life changes and curve balls are thrown at you. It was a very confusing time of my life as I was deciding whether or not to postpone my mission, but I made sure that I was making the right decision. I want to go back to school and continue my "career" or pathway to a career. I want to be a social worker and feel like I can serve God with my career. So, I am staying home. I have a testimony of the church and I respect all the missionaires serving right now. If I was 19, I would have a different outlook as a missionary. At this time, I feel like I should be spending my time in other areas of my life. And it is important to realize that sisters are not commanded to serve a full time mission. Member missionary work is important ...
Read more

Recent Changes

Image
So, I haven't written in here for a long time. I thought I might write about recent events in my life. My winter break was fantastic and really long. I am not used to having a month long break so I didn't know what to do with myself. The first part of my break, right after finals, I spent way too much time watching Netflix. I would just lay there in my pajamas and enjoy doing nothing. When you are really busy, it is nice to do nothing at some point. After getting bored of doing nothing, my brother came home for Christmas time. We had lots of family time just talking, playing games and catching up. I experienced one of the most beautiful days in San Francisco. We went hiking in Marine County and looked over all the bay. It was absolutely stunning and brought a lot of new perspective. I love being outdoors because the perspective from nature reminds me of God's love for us. I had a friend from BYU visit for New Years Eve week. I have told her all about my hometown and ...
Read more