I'm Feeling 22....Well actually almost 23 in a couple of days.

So, I was so excited when I was turning 22 because Taylor Swift had a song that related exactly to being 22, but I didn't realize how true it is until now. Now I am turning 23, and the only song I have found about 23 is about how nobody likes you when your 23 ( Blink 182) and a song about a kid who committed suicide when he was 23. Based off of these songs, I am not exactly sure of what 23 will be like. Lets hope that it is better than these predictions?

Well, Taylor Swift song talks about how we feel happy, free, confused, miserable, lonely and magical at the same time. How can you feel those emotions at the same time? You can.

As I have been reflecting over my last year, I've had some of the most joyful, awkward and just hard experiences. I graduated from college with a degree which you can't do anything. Postponed indefinitely my mission. Bought a car. Got rejected from grad school. Re-evaluated my career options. Still am not sure of what I want to do, but I will figure it out one day.

Throughout these experiences, I have felt happy, free, confused, miserable, lonely and magical all in one year. Even though I have felt all of these emotions, I don't regret one thing that happened throughout this past year. I have learned so many valuable lessons from this past year which I will write about.

• Be Still. Some moments I would just want to know everything at once. All my questions regarding my future, I wanted the answer immediately. I don't know them still. I have learned that sometimes all we can do is to simply be still. Find that place where we can unplug from our distractions and just simply evaluate our life. Sometimes thoughts will come to your mind of what to do and sometimes all you feel is a sense of peace and quiet. It's frustrating when you want answers and all you get is a sense of peace. It reminds me that things won't happen in my timing. It reminds me that patience is so important. Waiting for answers has taught me to trust God more. I have learned to appreciate these still small moments and just learn to relax. Don't fret about your future. Live your life with a attitude of optimism and faith instead of fear. When we focus on the fear, there will only be more anxiety and unhappiness.
• Enjoy the moment. Enjoy the simply moments that bring you joy. Learn to laugh more. When life is throwing you a curve ball, try to find a moment of humor and laugh. Laughter is the best medicine. I remember the times with my friends laughing until I am crying as sometimes the most therapeutic because I relearn that amid confusion, I can still have fun. Go dance in your car and see what other people do when its a red light. The other people may think you are crazy or you just brighten up their day. Pull that prank on your friend. Go indulge in that piece of chocolate. Do your favorite hobby. Find a new hobby. 
• Focus on the internal not the external. I think this is one of the most  important lessons I have learned. When I was graduating from college, I became so focused on the external things in my life about progression. Everyone around me seemed to be getting married, having babies, getting into grad programs, going on missions or traveling the world. I was doing none of them. I postponed my mission and moved back home to a place I never imagined myself living again. The external things didn't seem to show that I was moving forward in life. I had the best advice from someone who told me to not focus on those things. Ever since then, I have been trying to focus on the person I am becoming instead of what others think of them from my "external" life. This can be hard because your internal progressions are often unrecognized and not valued by others. In my eyes, I have learned that the internal changes and progressions are the most important. 
• Stop comparing yourself to others. We are on separate journeys in our life and we learn at different paces. It's that moment when you look at someone who has something you want, and you wander why you don't have it. Why do they have it and why can't I? It doesn't matter. I have learned that I compare my weaknesses to others strengths. It's ridiculous. Just because you have a weakness in one area, doesn't mean that you are failure. We are giving weaknesses for a reason. 
• Another person's strength doesn't make you lesser in any way, learn to rejoice in other's success. This one is hard because it requires confidence. You have to be confident in yourself and realize that you have your own strengths to rejoice in. You can always rejoice in other's success but not be sincere too. You can congratulate them but inwards be jealous or angry at their success. Strive to be sincerely happy for other people when they do well. This one has been hard for me to do as I have friends who are doing great things with their life, and I've had to establish that I'm happy with my life situation in order to actually be happy for my friends.
• Learn to accept the past and love yourself who you are today. Yes, you may have insecurities but learn to overcome them and love yourself. I am not meaning the love of selfishness and arrogance. I mean the kind of love where you accept your weaknesses and learn to respect yourself. Learn your true identity. This one I had to work with last summer when I doubted myself a lot. I felt like in some ways I lost my self-worth and I had to regain it slowly. My identity was taken from me as a college student, so I had to re-identify myself and find out who I was besides a recent college graduate. I realized I had some insecurities that I had been hiding for a long time. I didn't like the way I looked. I had to overcome these insecurities and learn to accept myself. A lot of this came from not going on my mission as I felt guilty. I felt like an awful person sometimes, so accepting what happened was hard for me. Throughout this year, I have learned to love myself for who I am. 
• Stop caring about what others think of you. It doesn't matter. Be the best person you can become and don't let others interfere.
• There is always more room for compassion. Working at my job, I have learned more about compassion. I love my co-workers and the kids. I have realized from these kidos, that they just wanted to be treated with compassion and love. The world needs more compassion in general. In every relationship, there is more room for compassion. 

My 22nd year which is ending soon has been illustrated by all of these lessons. It is has not been what I expected to happen, but I would never take anything back. As I was at work today, I was thinking about this. I love my job. I love my calling at church. I love my friends. I feel like I have become closer to God throughout this year. I am a piano teacher! I have all these amazing opportunities to spend time with people I love and do things that help me become a better person and love everyday.In these ways, my 22nd year has been a success.