Reality Check

I had a major reality check today. I have just been enjoying my summer lately. I went to Tahoe and I just felt so relaxed and calm there. The water was absolutely beautiful. I had one of those moments where I had a silent prayer because I was so grateful that I was in one of the most beautiful places in the world. Then I went to work today, which means the end of summer. I am working for two weeks and then I resign to start my MSW program. Everyone at work today kept asking me about my program. I was excited to talk about it, but then I came home. I had a realization that my life was changing. I am doing a masters program. This is a big deal. This a big investment. I am investing my life, money, and time for two years. After this thought came into my mind, I have had butterflies in my stomach all day. They are not the beautiful kind of butterflies. They are the anxious ones. The butterflies that are annoying because my insides are going crazy. Reality is hitting me right now and I don't know what to do.



Don't get me wrong, I am so excited to start my program. Every step I take, I am moving towards my program. I am buying a new laptop. Registering for classes. Buying textbooks. Getting a university ID card. Quitting my job. Making my new schedule so I can still teach piano. This is a big change. I don't know what to do with myself.

Have you ever wished for something for so long and then it finally comes and you are afraid? This is exactly I feel.

My dream is coming true. I am going to accomplish one of my bucket list items. They don't tell you that when you are pursuing your dreams, that you will experience a lot of fear and anxiety. It is not the fear because I am making a wrong decision. I have felt numerous confirmations that I am doing the right thing of going back to school right now. I have no doubt about my decision. Like I said, it is just this change that is coming soon. I thought I would have more time to prepare, but I keep getting closer and closer to my first day of the program.


Graduate school is intimidating. I have a brand new campus, teachers, classmates and expectations. I don't know anyone on the campus. Zilch. I don't know what to expect at all. Sometimes it is better to just jump and have a open mind. That is what I keep telling myself. I am on this dock and the program is this deep lake that will be my new life.

So, if anyone has any advice of how to approach this new graduate school program and campus. I will gladly take your advice. This is one of those moments where I am happy there is change but I am just unsure of what to expect. I know this is a normal feeling. It makes sense why people are so content in their current living situation and jobs. It is hard to change once you are comfortable.

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So...I guess...Cheers to new beginnings?

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