Learning to Let Go
Yes, that is my lesson that I have been learning the last couple of months.
Update on my life: I postponed my mission.
I feel really good about my decision. I was planning on leaving to the MTC on July 31st. The best way to explain my decision is that life changes and curve balls are thrown at you. It was a very confusing time of my life as I was deciding whether or not to postpone my mission, but I made sure that I was making the right decision. I want to go back to school and continue my "career" or pathway to a career. I want to be a social worker and feel like I can serve God with my career. So, I am staying home. I have a testimony of the church and I respect all the missionaires serving right now. If I was 19, I would have a different outlook as a missionary. At this time, I feel like I should be spending my time in other areas of my life. And it is important to realize that sisters are not commanded to serve a full time mission. Member missionary work is important and I want to do all that I can do to invite others to the gospel.
Life as a young women who decided to postpone their mission is very interesting. There is no boy in my picture at the moment. The first assumption is that I am postponing because of a boy. This is not true. The second assumption is that I am not worthy. I am worthy to serve a mission, I just don't feel good about going. Most people have been very accepting of my decision and I am slowly starting my life again.
It is crazy how life changes so fast. I sacrificed a lot for my mission papers. I left all my friends in Provo. I left my job. I left my social scene. I left my routine. I left my roommates. I left my independence to be dependent and move back home. When I was in Provo, I was independent and much more social than I am now.
I am learning how to transition now as I have adjust to my home singles ward compared to a college singles ward. I am adjusting to sharing a car with my mom. I am adjusting to being a college graduate. Everything is brand new territory.
So, as you can see. It has been quite difficult and new as I am adjusting to this change. I am learning to let go and trust in God. Every time that I am struggling with a question, I am reminded that God has a plan that is better than my plan. There is a reason for everything that I am experiencing. So, I am learning to let go and enjoy the moment. If you know me, I am a planner. I had a "5 year plan", where I knew exactly where I wanted to be at nearly every step. I am throwing out my plan and taking everything step by step. It is hard to walk by faith, but I am learning that is okay. God will take care of his children and I just need to trust that.
I know that God loves me and he loves all of his children. That is all I need to know. That is all you need to know too. God loves you. There is a greater plan. And who better to trust than God? I know I can give him my complete heart because he will guide me to what is right.
Well, that is my update. I will try to blog more. I have been writing in my journal more so I neglect my blog. But, I promise I will write in here more about my adventures....like my new job. I am employed by the Elk Grove School District as a paradeducator. It isn't my dream job, but It is a start and I get to teach 3rd graders! I have always loved teaching, so I get to just continue developing my teaching skills. I plan my own teaching plan and teach a after school program. This job seems like a miracle as it is something that I will make me grow and I can work with children. I love working with people, specifically children. So, teaching multiplication is what I will be doing in the near future.
Well, have a great day folks!
Update on my life: I postponed my mission.
I feel really good about my decision. I was planning on leaving to the MTC on July 31st. The best way to explain my decision is that life changes and curve balls are thrown at you. It was a very confusing time of my life as I was deciding whether or not to postpone my mission, but I made sure that I was making the right decision. I want to go back to school and continue my "career" or pathway to a career. I want to be a social worker and feel like I can serve God with my career. So, I am staying home. I have a testimony of the church and I respect all the missionaires serving right now. If I was 19, I would have a different outlook as a missionary. At this time, I feel like I should be spending my time in other areas of my life. And it is important to realize that sisters are not commanded to serve a full time mission. Member missionary work is important and I want to do all that I can do to invite others to the gospel.
Life as a young women who decided to postpone their mission is very interesting. There is no boy in my picture at the moment. The first assumption is that I am postponing because of a boy. This is not true. The second assumption is that I am not worthy. I am worthy to serve a mission, I just don't feel good about going. Most people have been very accepting of my decision and I am slowly starting my life again.
It is crazy how life changes so fast. I sacrificed a lot for my mission papers. I left all my friends in Provo. I left my job. I left my social scene. I left my routine. I left my roommates. I left my independence to be dependent and move back home. When I was in Provo, I was independent and much more social than I am now.
I am learning how to transition now as I have adjust to my home singles ward compared to a college singles ward. I am adjusting to sharing a car with my mom. I am adjusting to being a college graduate. Everything is brand new territory.
So, as you can see. It has been quite difficult and new as I am adjusting to this change. I am learning to let go and trust in God. Every time that I am struggling with a question, I am reminded that God has a plan that is better than my plan. There is a reason for everything that I am experiencing. So, I am learning to let go and enjoy the moment. If you know me, I am a planner. I had a "5 year plan", where I knew exactly where I wanted to be at nearly every step. I am throwing out my plan and taking everything step by step. It is hard to walk by faith, but I am learning that is okay. God will take care of his children and I just need to trust that.
I know that God loves me and he loves all of his children. That is all I need to know. That is all you need to know too. God loves you. There is a greater plan. And who better to trust than God? I know I can give him my complete heart because he will guide me to what is right.
Well, that is my update. I will try to blog more. I have been writing in my journal more so I neglect my blog. But, I promise I will write in here more about my adventures....like my new job. I am employed by the Elk Grove School District as a paradeducator. It isn't my dream job, but It is a start and I get to teach 3rd graders! I have always loved teaching, so I get to just continue developing my teaching skills. I plan my own teaching plan and teach a after school program. This job seems like a miracle as it is something that I will make me grow and I can work with children. I love working with people, specifically children. So, teaching multiplication is what I will be doing in the near future.
Well, have a great day folks!
If you want to go to school, are you going to come back to Provo?
ReplyDeleteI will maybe, I am applying to BYU for next fall.
ReplyDelete