The Difficulty of Being Human
It has been a tough last couple of weeks. I am making some big decisions for my future. Do I want to write a thesis or take a capstone class? Where am I going to intern at next year? Do I want to do this summer program to be a school social worker? Can I get a paid internship? What population do I want to work with? Where would I want to work possibly after I graduate? What are my ultimate career goals?
Needless to say, I have been trying to find the answers to all these questions. It is a process that is not the must fun. I have tried to stay strong with all of these unknown's in the air. My friends in the program have been a big support since they completely understand the stress and pressure that comes from these decisions. We provide encouragement to each other which helps the process move much smoother.
Like I have said, I have tried to remain strong throughout the process. I tell myself, "things will work out". "If I have faith, god will direct me to where I should be". It is so hard to have this continuous faith when there are so many unknowns regarding my future. I hit my breaking point. I hit the point where I lost my strength. I discovered that underneath my strong face I put up is a individual who is weak. I doubt things. I am fearful. I question my decisions.
This has been hard to accept this weakness within me. I like to be the person people come to for help but I don't like the reverse process. Accepting the fact that I need to receive help can be a struggle, especially now as I need strength to make these decisions.
This has been quite a learning experience in how I function as a human being. I have learned that stress bottles up within me until I burst, unless I ask for help early. I have learned that I tend to neglect my own self care because I don't want to recognize the fact that there are problems. I put up this carefree attitude until I realize that it is no longer time to be carefree. I have learned that this independent streak I can sometimes carry can be a strength and weakness. I need to let others in my life.
Although to be human and weak can sometimes be painful, I think everyone should recognize this state. This state of weakness is what inspires true humility. Only after being weak and broken can we realize our dependence on others. Especially when it comes to showing humility to God. This time has not been fun, but it has lead me to say the most heartfelt and honest prayers. I have never cried as much as I have when I have prayed. This weakness has lead me to God.
What is the real difficulty of being human?
The real difficulty of being human is our tendency to want to do things on our own. We are like two year olds who never grow up. Two years olds want to do everything on their own due to their new abilities. Two year olds are stubborn children who refuse any service from others. Only after being broken down and recognizing our weakness, we are able to receive help. So, being broken can lead to good things.
Needless to say, I have been trying to find the answers to all these questions. It is a process that is not the must fun. I have tried to stay strong with all of these unknown's in the air. My friends in the program have been a big support since they completely understand the stress and pressure that comes from these decisions. We provide encouragement to each other which helps the process move much smoother.
Like I have said, I have tried to remain strong throughout the process. I tell myself, "things will work out". "If I have faith, god will direct me to where I should be". It is so hard to have this continuous faith when there are so many unknowns regarding my future. I hit my breaking point. I hit the point where I lost my strength. I discovered that underneath my strong face I put up is a individual who is weak. I doubt things. I am fearful. I question my decisions.
This has been hard to accept this weakness within me. I like to be the person people come to for help but I don't like the reverse process. Accepting the fact that I need to receive help can be a struggle, especially now as I need strength to make these decisions.
This has been quite a learning experience in how I function as a human being. I have learned that stress bottles up within me until I burst, unless I ask for help early. I have learned that I tend to neglect my own self care because I don't want to recognize the fact that there are problems. I put up this carefree attitude until I realize that it is no longer time to be carefree. I have learned that this independent streak I can sometimes carry can be a strength and weakness. I need to let others in my life.
Although to be human and weak can sometimes be painful, I think everyone should recognize this state. This state of weakness is what inspires true humility. Only after being weak and broken can we realize our dependence on others. Especially when it comes to showing humility to God. This time has not been fun, but it has lead me to say the most heartfelt and honest prayers. I have never cried as much as I have when I have prayed. This weakness has lead me to God.
What is the real difficulty of being human?
The real difficulty of being human is our tendency to want to do things on our own. We are like two year olds who never grow up. Two years olds want to do everything on their own due to their new abilities. Two year olds are stubborn children who refuse any service from others. Only after being broken down and recognizing our weakness, we are able to receive help. So, being broken can lead to good things.
Comments
Post a Comment