Termination Process
So, I am ending my first year of my internship and it has been such a learning process. I haven't really thought about the termination process because the end never really seemed like it was near. Well, I have two more days of my internship. That is absolutely crazy to think that I have been here for a year. I have been at Health for All, which is an adult day health care center. I am with adults who have physical and mental disabilities. There is a wide range of clients who have mental health diagnosis, extreme physical health limitations and isolation. Many clients lost contact with family and live with caregivers and board and care. The clients struggle with isolation, depression, grief and loss of independence.
The more I think about it, the more sad and happy I am with this termination process. I don't think I am really ready for the termination process, but I have to be though. I am happy because that means it is summer! Sometimes having the internship along with the school made me exhausted. I would wake up and think, "I don't want to go to my internship". I just wanted to sleep. The end of this internship means that I am halfway done with graduate school. It's so weird to think about.
Throughout this whole experience, I have grown to love my clients. They are some of the most sincere and fun people I've ever met. They come from the most humble circumstances. They have had lots of history and experiences that are negative, yet they still remain strong. I am going to miss my interactions with the clients. In some ways, I learned more from the clients then I taught them. They taught me the true definition of endurance. I have never been physically disabled, experienced chronic pain, been diagnosed with a mental health diagnosis or been hurt from my immediate family. Seeing my clients experience their heartache but still manage to find coping skills and reasons to live is amazing. Sometimes I would complain about my life, but then I would realize that in reality, my life is very well put together. We have it good, but we can lose that focus fairly often. When we can't be happy when we have everything and others who have nothing can be happy, there is something wrong. I think this is one of the most important lessons I learned from my clients is that life is happy and that we have a good life. Even when there are struggles, we can find things that make our life worth living.
Working with mental health has been a emotional roller coaster because I have had to learn how to create boundaries. I have had to learn to not take what happened in the day home with me. It's so hard to step into my client's shoes for a little bit, and then forget about what I felt while working with them. The thing is if you don't learn this, it will affect your outside life and relationships. I have struggled in finding my own self-care procedures so I can remain my self yet still care for my clients. Learning this has been challenging, but it has changed my ability to serve them. When I take care of myself, I can better take care of my clients.
I have learned that mental health is not a field for the faint of heart. I've heard the saddest stories and I've had to process my own reaction to them. If you only want to hear about peoples's happily ever after, then don't go into mental health. Sometimes I came home and would tell my mom about a interaction I had briefly, and she would look at me and say "I couldn't do what you do". The truth is sometimes I don't think I can do it either, but I know that It is what I am meant to do. I knew this was the atmosphere of mental health, but actually experiencing it is completely different. Sometimes it's hard to hear about a client's history from their own point of view. When they describe their history, their low self-esteem is not surprising. These experiences have introduced me to what it feels like to live with a disorder on a daily basis. The constant struggle of some of my clients to handle their symptoms and live in a functional manner can be difficult.
So, as this semester and internship comes to an end, I am so grateful for my experiences. It was not a perfect learning experience as I had struggles and my own barriers I had to overcome, but I learned valuable lessons. I learned to love my clients as I began to understand their needs. I learned to laugh with my clients as we talked about life experiences. I learned how to simply be present with my clients. I learned about the importance of authenticity. My clients don't want a perfect social worker, they want a social worker who is real and authentic. All I can give to my clients is my time, love and attention. If I am doing this consistently, then I am being the best social worker I can be.
The more I think about it, the more sad and happy I am with this termination process. I don't think I am really ready for the termination process, but I have to be though. I am happy because that means it is summer! Sometimes having the internship along with the school made me exhausted. I would wake up and think, "I don't want to go to my internship". I just wanted to sleep. The end of this internship means that I am halfway done with graduate school. It's so weird to think about.
Throughout this whole experience, I have grown to love my clients. They are some of the most sincere and fun people I've ever met. They come from the most humble circumstances. They have had lots of history and experiences that are negative, yet they still remain strong. I am going to miss my interactions with the clients. In some ways, I learned more from the clients then I taught them. They taught me the true definition of endurance. I have never been physically disabled, experienced chronic pain, been diagnosed with a mental health diagnosis or been hurt from my immediate family. Seeing my clients experience their heartache but still manage to find coping skills and reasons to live is amazing. Sometimes I would complain about my life, but then I would realize that in reality, my life is very well put together. We have it good, but we can lose that focus fairly often. When we can't be happy when we have everything and others who have nothing can be happy, there is something wrong. I think this is one of the most important lessons I learned from my clients is that life is happy and that we have a good life. Even when there are struggles, we can find things that make our life worth living.
Working with mental health has been a emotional roller coaster because I have had to learn how to create boundaries. I have had to learn to not take what happened in the day home with me. It's so hard to step into my client's shoes for a little bit, and then forget about what I felt while working with them. The thing is if you don't learn this, it will affect your outside life and relationships. I have struggled in finding my own self-care procedures so I can remain my self yet still care for my clients. Learning this has been challenging, but it has changed my ability to serve them. When I take care of myself, I can better take care of my clients.
I have learned that mental health is not a field for the faint of heart. I've heard the saddest stories and I've had to process my own reaction to them. If you only want to hear about peoples's happily ever after, then don't go into mental health. Sometimes I came home and would tell my mom about a interaction I had briefly, and she would look at me and say "I couldn't do what you do". The truth is sometimes I don't think I can do it either, but I know that It is what I am meant to do. I knew this was the atmosphere of mental health, but actually experiencing it is completely different. Sometimes it's hard to hear about a client's history from their own point of view. When they describe their history, their low self-esteem is not surprising. These experiences have introduced me to what it feels like to live with a disorder on a daily basis. The constant struggle of some of my clients to handle their symptoms and live in a functional manner can be difficult.
So, as this semester and internship comes to an end, I am so grateful for my experiences. It was not a perfect learning experience as I had struggles and my own barriers I had to overcome, but I learned valuable lessons. I learned to love my clients as I began to understand their needs. I learned to laugh with my clients as we talked about life experiences. I learned how to simply be present with my clients. I learned about the importance of authenticity. My clients don't want a perfect social worker, they want a social worker who is real and authentic. All I can give to my clients is my time, love and attention. If I am doing this consistently, then I am being the best social worker I can be.
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