The past, present and future

We live in the present. We don't live in the future or past. The past already happened and we can't do anything to bring it back. I know that in Harry Potter, they have that clock that brings them back and they can change the past. We don't live in Harry Potter world, so we can't do that. 

Many people's problems occur because they carry the past with them in the present. They carry this event or emotion that was in the past in the current moment. As they live in the current moment, all their energy is going to how they were hurt. This cycle happens where there is hurt, anger and an entitlement to where we feel like we deserve to feel this way because they did us wrong. We are the victim. We are hurt and in some ways deserve to get our revenge. 

This process is wrong. 

Everyone has gone through it though. 

I remember when my ex boyfriend hurt me with his selection of words. These words were extremely hurtful and I carried these words with me. Whenever I would think of this past experience, I would get down on myself. Months, even a year, after he told me these words, I was still hurting. It took me a while to recognize how this past was hurting me and holding me back from enjoying the moment in the present. I went through this cycle. I was hurt and angry. I eventually forgave him but it was one of the hardest things I have done. Forgiving him was a long process with a lot of tears. I felt like a victim a lot of times as he did something wrong to me. Right? That is what I used to think until my eyes opened to the present. 

I changed when I realized that the past has already happened. That moment happened. It sucked. I can't change the fact that it happened though. The only thing I could control is what I was going to do with this past moment. Was I going to carry the pain, anger and hurt with me in the present? Was I going to move on from it? I learned that I needed to move on from it so I could enjoy the present moment.

At that moment when I decided to move on, I realized that I needed to completely forgive him. I half-heartily forgave him. I forgave him but was still bitter towards him. Eventually, I did forgive him and I decided to throw out those words and that moment away. It happened and I would not reflect on it and let it bring me down. That was a defining moment for me in order to enjoy the present moment.

Just like my experience, we all have moments from the past that we want to forget but we can't. We carry pain and it bags us down. We become emotionally exhausted. Living is no longer fun but it is a chore. Getting up in the morning is a heartache because it is one day to reflect on events from the past.  Nobody wants to live like these forever. Sometimes it is comforting to mope around, but eventually after moping around, we realize that living in misery is not the lifestyle we want. 

This is when the defining moment comes about. This is when we let go of the past so we can enjoy the moment. This is a daunting task. Letting go of the past is a long process that may require help from others around you. Give yourself time as you start that process. I think one of the most important things to remember is that daily improvements can sometimes be what keeps you going. The fact that you got up and smiled can be progress. Take pride in these little victories. 

The moment that you finally let go of the past is one of the best feelings. It is a moment where you can actually be present in the moment and enjoy it.

If you are holding on to moments that are hurting you, I encourage you to seek help so you can escape from your "prison". You know what I am talking about? Sometimes we trap ourselves into this life of misery and pain. We keep ourselves victimized. Don't play the victim game. Find help. Find an area in your life that you can control and try to take some action. The action can be small or large. The moment you surrender to your "prison" is the moment when you accept a life of pain. No one deserves to live like that though. We were created that we could be happy not in misery.