My Dating Inspiration
I have realized that many girls use this very common defense mechanism with dating. They deny the need for a man in their life. "I can be independent and be happy". I have too often developed this idea in my life. I push guys away from me because I feel like needing a guy is weakness. I feel like there is a healthy balance between needing a guy to function and needing someone because they make you happier and help you become better.
After being heartbroken, you want to be alone because you don't ever want to be hurt again (or you seek for instant comfort with a rebound). I am the master of pushing people away and making myself not like guys. I come up with reasons why they are stupid and why I don't need them in my life. I have finally recognized this in my life. I have been too often joined the pity party club and "I hate guys club" with refreshments of ice cream. Here is the truth: We need guys in our life. They make us happy and sad at the same time. They can break our hearts. But getting a text that makes you laugh from your boyfriend is the best feeling ever. Girls want and need loving. They want a emotional and physical connection with a special boy they are best friends with. We just deny this need to make ourselves feel good. I feel like being independent is a good thing but we shouldn't push relationships away just because we want to be independent. If you have a opportunity to date someone you like, date them. Don't fall into the "I hate guy" movement. It is so overrated. It only brings further pain and frustration. Do you really want to live with all girls the rest of your life watching chick flicks every night? What if you changed your mind and let someone in and let go of your frustrations and fear?
I think girls are and guys can be afraid of being hurt that we don't even attempt to get to know someone. I meet someone and think that they are interesting. If I took the time to get to know them and get heartbroken again, it wouldn't be fun. It would be miserable. I have been heartbroken too many times in my life. I have cried over a guy more than crying for happiness. Why do I hold on to these memories where guys have treated me badly? Guys aren't all jerks. They can be life savers. They can turn your bad day into good days with one big hug and kiss. That one compliment can make you smile for a week. The awkward dates can be fun and make you laugh and get rid of your stress. I have been so frustrated thinking about why guys don't like me. I think I figured it out. There is nothing wrong with me. I am talented, somewhat attractive, smart, motivated, fun, a good friend and daughter and I am founded with strong gospel principles. My problem is my attitude towards dating. I need more self confidence. I need to get rid of using my independence streak and using the defense mechanism to push away perfectly good guys away. There could have been too many opportunities where I could have been happy but I sabotaged my relationships by illogical thinking and fear of being hurt. This is my dating breakthrough. I don't know if this will help any of you but this helped me. It is good to know that I just need to change my thinking. Maybe I need to rethink the guys are jerks statement. I am tired of hearing this from roommates and random girls on the campus. I have hope there are good guys who are there who want to make someone else happy and honestly and sincerely love someone else for who they are. I will find one of those guys someday.
After being heartbroken, you want to be alone because you don't ever want to be hurt again (or you seek for instant comfort with a rebound). I am the master of pushing people away and making myself not like guys. I come up with reasons why they are stupid and why I don't need them in my life. I have finally recognized this in my life. I have been too often joined the pity party club and "I hate guys club" with refreshments of ice cream. Here is the truth: We need guys in our life. They make us happy and sad at the same time. They can break our hearts. But getting a text that makes you laugh from your boyfriend is the best feeling ever. Girls want and need loving. They want a emotional and physical connection with a special boy they are best friends with. We just deny this need to make ourselves feel good. I feel like being independent is a good thing but we shouldn't push relationships away just because we want to be independent. If you have a opportunity to date someone you like, date them. Don't fall into the "I hate guy" movement. It is so overrated. It only brings further pain and frustration. Do you really want to live with all girls the rest of your life watching chick flicks every night? What if you changed your mind and let someone in and let go of your frustrations and fear?
I think girls are and guys can be afraid of being hurt that we don't even attempt to get to know someone. I meet someone and think that they are interesting. If I took the time to get to know them and get heartbroken again, it wouldn't be fun. It would be miserable. I have been heartbroken too many times in my life. I have cried over a guy more than crying for happiness. Why do I hold on to these memories where guys have treated me badly? Guys aren't all jerks. They can be life savers. They can turn your bad day into good days with one big hug and kiss. That one compliment can make you smile for a week. The awkward dates can be fun and make you laugh and get rid of your stress. I have been so frustrated thinking about why guys don't like me. I think I figured it out. There is nothing wrong with me. I am talented, somewhat attractive, smart, motivated, fun, a good friend and daughter and I am founded with strong gospel principles. My problem is my attitude towards dating. I need more self confidence. I need to get rid of using my independence streak and using the defense mechanism to push away perfectly good guys away. There could have been too many opportunities where I could have been happy but I sabotaged my relationships by illogical thinking and fear of being hurt. This is my dating breakthrough. I don't know if this will help any of you but this helped me. It is good to know that I just need to change my thinking. Maybe I need to rethink the guys are jerks statement. I am tired of hearing this from roommates and random girls on the campus. I have hope there are good guys who are there who want to make someone else happy and honestly and sincerely love someone else for who they are. I will find one of those guys someday.
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