I just wannna know you better...

Do I really? Okay, recently I have developed this really negative attitude about dating. I have become apathetic. I just get so used to my routine of doing what I do and I don't want to break it. I do have a social life. I do talk to guys. I am not a bitter person to love. If other people are in love, then I am happy for them. I don't get jealous of others. I don't know what my state of dating is. I don't think that apathetic is the correct word.

You know how you have this guy that you like or have a crush on in your head when you are not dating someone? I don't have anyone or anything. The good thing is that I am open. I hold high expectations and am willing to date. I am not opposed to dating. I would welcome if there was a date. But so far, I haven't met anyone that I like or want to date. Is it wrong to not like anyone? I feel like people are shocked to hear that I don't like anyone. I just haven't met anyone that I like.

Are my expectations too high? I don't think my expectations are too high. I don't want to lower them.

Am I not focusing on the right things? I try to balance my life. I have lots of things on my plate. I have my capstone, work, school, friends, my church calling, sleep, grad school applications and trying to find room to exercise. I am not perfect at balancing, but I am slowly learning stress management techniques.

I have come to the point with myself that I am confident. I know that I have worth. It is a great feeling that I don't doubt myself. I think in the years before that boys could read into my insecurities. They were a block for my dating life. Now that I am confident, what is the block?

Lack of time management? Lack of men in my ward, classes, work? Lack of effort?

My new favorite song is Taylor Swift "begin again". I know that love exists. I have been in love. I know that I can fall in love again. I guess the problem is meeting that person. I have been on dates, but they just haven't been gentleman. I want a man to open my door because he isn't obligated to do it, but because he truly respects women. I want a guy to pay for my food not because he feels obligated, but because he is a gentleman.

In the last year, I have just learned that finding a gentleman is so important. Those small things that boys do on dates are so great. They don't have to be perfect, but they need to be a gentleman. So boys, do the small respectful things. They are important. They mean more than you know.

I'll find my gentleman someday. Until then, I am almost done with my graduate school application. I got my bishop's endorsement down. I am going to get my letter of intent edited and submitted....and then...I am just waiting for a letter of recommendation. It is exciting!

Comments

  1. AbbieOctober 29, 2012 at 10:01 AM

    Kristen! I miss your pretty face more than you know so I blog stalked you. Haha. It is so exciting that you want to go to grad school. I thought about it and ultimately came to the conclusion it wasn't a good time for me. I commend you so much for pursuing more education. That is absolutely wonderful! As for the lack of a man in your life. Who cares?! You are beautiful and lovely and charismatic and when the time is right your Mr. Gentleman will be there. I love you much! - Abbie Fox

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Intangible Things

Last night I was thinking about how Disney calls merchandise "tangible memories". I thought it was stupid how they changed the name, but then It made me think about the tangible and intangible things in our lives. There are so many tangible things that we give value to. That one Steve Madden purse I fell in love with has a lot of value to me. Why? Because it is pretty. :) My cell phone has value to me because that is how I keep in contact with my friends and family. I could go on and on about the tangible things I love to have, but the point of this blog is to talk about the intangible things we have.  I think that the value of the intangible things in our lives is much greater than the tangible. The intangible include: love, memories, pain, and joy. These things are hard to measure; we can't hold them in our hand. We can't say I have two ounces of love and one inch of pain. There is no measurement for love. I remember when I was younger reading the book about how m...
Read more

Learning to Let Go

Yes, that is my lesson that I have been learning the last couple of months. Update on my life: I postponed my mission. I feel really good about my decision. I was planning on leaving to the MTC on July 31st. The best way to explain my decision is that life changes and curve balls are thrown at you. It was a very confusing time of my life as I was deciding whether or not to postpone my mission, but I made sure that I was making the right decision. I want to go back to school and continue my "career" or pathway to a career. I want to be a social worker and feel like I can serve God with my career. So, I am staying home. I have a testimony of the church and I respect all the missionaires serving right now. If I was 19, I would have a different outlook as a missionary. At this time, I feel like I should be spending my time in other areas of my life. And it is important to realize that sisters are not commanded to serve a full time mission. Member missionary work is important ...
Read more

Recent Changes

Image
So, I haven't written in here for a long time. I thought I might write about recent events in my life. My winter break was fantastic and really long. I am not used to having a month long break so I didn't know what to do with myself. The first part of my break, right after finals, I spent way too much time watching Netflix. I would just lay there in my pajamas and enjoy doing nothing. When you are really busy, it is nice to do nothing at some point. After getting bored of doing nothing, my brother came home for Christmas time. We had lots of family time just talking, playing games and catching up. I experienced one of the most beautiful days in San Francisco. We went hiking in Marine County and looked over all the bay. It was absolutely stunning and brought a lot of new perspective. I love being outdoors because the perspective from nature reminds me of God's love for us. I had a friend from BYU visit for New Years Eve week. I have told her all about my hometown and ...
Read more