Learning about Oneself

I have learned a lot about myself recently. So this is a blog about what I have learned about myself.

I am a outgoing person to a extent. I want people to come reach out to me. Sometimes I just sit in my room waiting for someone to knock on my door wanting to be my best friend. I just have recently discovered that things don't work out that way. If I want a social life then I have to put myself out there and be in social situations. I have recently that I am more shy than I thought I was. I need to become more outgoing and more forward with people. I guess I got so comfortable in my little shell but then I realized my shell was breaking that I needed to make a larger shell.

I learned that I am a perfectionist. I am very hard on myself. I have a hard time accepting the imperfections in myself. I long to be perfect. I always knew that I was like this in my school work. I never realized I was like this in my social life and dating life. Different experiences with different personalities and roommates have taught me this about myself. I have a hard time letting go of my perfect expectations of myself. I need to just admit that I can't do everything perfectly. It is okay If I make a mistake. The world is not over.

I have learned that school is extremely important to me compared to other people that I meet.

I have learned that I like to eat carbs. I love french toast and carbs. I learned that I need to range my food options with more.

I have learned that I really do love to play around the guitar even if I am not very good.

I have learned that my Grandpa is my hero. He is the greatest man alive.

I have relearned that I have value in this life. When I had a bad week, I doubted everyone and everything around me. I relearned that I matter in this life. I have a purpose and even if I am not the most popular person in the world, I can still have power and influence.

I have learned I can learn information but it is harder to apply it. I have learned that learning about faith is easy and it is easy to have a group discussion about faith but when I actually have to apply it in my life by walking in the darkness hoping that some light will show me darkness, it is a scary concept that I am sometimes not willing to do.

I have learned that my doubts and insecurities can sometimes overpower my faith and confidence in my abilities.

I have learned that my perspective is very limited. I want to have a eternal perspective but it is hard to think past friday night like Brad Paisley's song "Letter to Me". I wish I could just learn to to let go of things and enjoy my life. I am a worrrier. I need to just breathe and laugh. Show my goofy side more sometimes. I have one and it comes out when I am carefree. I miss my carefree side out of me. I want to laugh and just enjoy my life.  Dance like no one is watching.

Overall, I think I have just learned about myself that I have imperfect. I can't do everything by myself. I need divine guidance and help from God. General Conference has helped me see that ma is nothing but man means everything to God. This helps me realize myself in a more eternal perspective. Anyways, these are small and important things that I have learned about myself recently.