A More Realistic Point of View
Recently my attitude toward love is so different. I love chick flicks. I used to love "love". Last night I was talking to someone in my ward and they asked me what life would be like if we felt this love in the chick flicks. The first thing I thought was that it wasn't love but it was infatuation. Second, my response was interesting to him because its something he probably didn't expect.
Here is my point of view on love: Take it or leave it. Love is hard work. Love is wonderful. Happiness in relationships can be achieved but conflict is inevitable. You can't avoid ever having conflict with a loved one because there will always be conflict. I was just watching a therapy session where the couple learned to "argue". There is a healthy and unhealthy way to argue. When you argue in a healthy manner, you take other's opinions into matter and have a clear rational motive instead of letting your emotions take over. There are so many things that we could talk about when trying to "argue" in a healthy manner. My point was that happiness can be achieved if both parties are willing to change and work hard. If both parties are willing to improve their own weaknesses instead of focusing on other's weaknesses, then you can be happy.
I love how chick flicks show how girls can change these boys into better people. I have faith that can happen but they only change because they want to change. You can't make other people want to change. That is a basic principle used in therapy and daily life. Even if you are using controlling techniques and manipulation, they may change temporally but not a long lasting change. Long lasting change comes from the individual choosing to change. If you want your spouse to become better, try to encourage them by improving yourself but nagging will never work. It will only worsen the problem.
So, this is my point of view on love. I think is love is great. After my experience with long relationships, I have learned that love is problematic yet worth it. When you really work hard, you appreciate the relationship so much more because you have worked for it together.
I have just recently recognized all the implicit education that I have learned from this research experience I am receiving. Even If I don't go to grad school, I have received the best education I could ever think of through coding therapy sessions. I love each new lesson I learn everyday. I love how my view on love changes and some may say it is pessismessitc, but I just say it is realistic. I know that marriage is not the easiest thing in the world. It is not the solution to all problems. I will still have my problems I have now in marriage, and we won't be perfect. We will be imperfect and bring out the imperfectness of each other as we deal with conflict.
Yet, I still have faith in this instituion (marriage) even though there is lots of conflict, imperfections and heartache. That is what makes marriage beautiful: blending two imperfect souls together and making it work. I think that is my new definition of marriage from now on. Yes, I still believe in marriage. It still holds hope.
Here is my point of view on love: Take it or leave it. Love is hard work. Love is wonderful. Happiness in relationships can be achieved but conflict is inevitable. You can't avoid ever having conflict with a loved one because there will always be conflict. I was just watching a therapy session where the couple learned to "argue". There is a healthy and unhealthy way to argue. When you argue in a healthy manner, you take other's opinions into matter and have a clear rational motive instead of letting your emotions take over. There are so many things that we could talk about when trying to "argue" in a healthy manner. My point was that happiness can be achieved if both parties are willing to change and work hard. If both parties are willing to improve their own weaknesses instead of focusing on other's weaknesses, then you can be happy.
I love how chick flicks show how girls can change these boys into better people. I have faith that can happen but they only change because they want to change. You can't make other people want to change. That is a basic principle used in therapy and daily life. Even if you are using controlling techniques and manipulation, they may change temporally but not a long lasting change. Long lasting change comes from the individual choosing to change. If you want your spouse to become better, try to encourage them by improving yourself but nagging will never work. It will only worsen the problem.
So, this is my point of view on love. I think is love is great. After my experience with long relationships, I have learned that love is problematic yet worth it. When you really work hard, you appreciate the relationship so much more because you have worked for it together.
I have just recently recognized all the implicit education that I have learned from this research experience I am receiving. Even If I don't go to grad school, I have received the best education I could ever think of through coding therapy sessions. I love each new lesson I learn everyday. I love how my view on love changes and some may say it is pessismessitc, but I just say it is realistic. I know that marriage is not the easiest thing in the world. It is not the solution to all problems. I will still have my problems I have now in marriage, and we won't be perfect. We will be imperfect and bring out the imperfectness of each other as we deal with conflict.
Yet, I still have faith in this instituion (marriage) even though there is lots of conflict, imperfections and heartache. That is what makes marriage beautiful: blending two imperfect souls together and making it work. I think that is my new definition of marriage from now on. Yes, I still believe in marriage. It still holds hope.
Comments
Post a Comment