Think before you act because you never will know the consequences.
I was talking to the graduate assistant today about my specific interests in marriage and family therapy about pornography. He has the same interests as me, so we were talking about specific applications and books I could be reading. He showed me a new journal article that was just published about the wife's reactions to the husband's addiction. This is a field of research that hasn't been looked at very much: the effect of pornography on the spouse. Most of the journal articles talk about the consequences of the individual with the pornography addiction.
Interestingly enough, the article said that the spouse of the individual will lose self confidence as they assume they did something wrong in the relationship. They believe that something they did made the relationship low quality and to the point where their spouse looked for satisfaction in other areas.
The article also talked about other consequences that may occur within the family and the spouse. I just think this illustrates the point that your actions really do matter to more people than just yourself. You would think that simply fulfilling your individual pleasure is most important and doesn't affect others but it dosen't. Your actions can affect the family unit and friends in a positive or negative way. I think it is amazing that by knowing that we can choose to affect others in a positive way. I like that most therapy teaches choice instead of determination. You can choose to change your behavior from your past so that even if you have negatively affected your family, you can positively affect them.
Another motivation for people struggling with addictions is to simply think before you start looking at the pornographic images, impulsively drinking, or overdosing on drugs to think about the people you love. How would the people you love feel about your current behavior? Would you hurt them by your addiction? I know addictions are complicated as there is a huge biological component in what maintains the addictive behavior. Even if there is a biological component, I still believe there is a component in choice. Psychology is mainly a deterministic point of view when it looks at current issues. I believe somewhat in the deterministic view, but nothing in this world will change my view on choice. I believe there will always be a component of choice within our actions. Use this choice for good and think about what your actions will do for others around you. We live in this pool of water where one droplet creates a wave that impacts everyone around us. You're actions may even influence those you are not close with or people you haven't come to contact with.
I know I have a somewhat unrealistic optimistic point of view sometimes. I just have seen people change whether it is through faith, god, social support or therapy. I have seen miracles happen where people overcome addictions and fix broken marriages. I have seen hurt individuals forgive and find peace. I know that we can find answers to our problems if we search for them. One requirement for this to happen is to merely believe that change is probable and desire the change. Just like pixie dust, we simply need to believe that it has power to work. Once we see this attitude change, we can see mighty miracles within families, friends, communities and individuals.
Interestingly enough, the article said that the spouse of the individual will lose self confidence as they assume they did something wrong in the relationship. They believe that something they did made the relationship low quality and to the point where their spouse looked for satisfaction in other areas.
The article also talked about other consequences that may occur within the family and the spouse. I just think this illustrates the point that your actions really do matter to more people than just yourself. You would think that simply fulfilling your individual pleasure is most important and doesn't affect others but it dosen't. Your actions can affect the family unit and friends in a positive or negative way. I think it is amazing that by knowing that we can choose to affect others in a positive way. I like that most therapy teaches choice instead of determination. You can choose to change your behavior from your past so that even if you have negatively affected your family, you can positively affect them.
Another motivation for people struggling with addictions is to simply think before you start looking at the pornographic images, impulsively drinking, or overdosing on drugs to think about the people you love. How would the people you love feel about your current behavior? Would you hurt them by your addiction? I know addictions are complicated as there is a huge biological component in what maintains the addictive behavior. Even if there is a biological component, I still believe there is a component in choice. Psychology is mainly a deterministic point of view when it looks at current issues. I believe somewhat in the deterministic view, but nothing in this world will change my view on choice. I believe there will always be a component of choice within our actions. Use this choice for good and think about what your actions will do for others around you. We live in this pool of water where one droplet creates a wave that impacts everyone around us. You're actions may even influence those you are not close with or people you haven't come to contact with.
I know I have a somewhat unrealistic optimistic point of view sometimes. I just have seen people change whether it is through faith, god, social support or therapy. I have seen miracles happen where people overcome addictions and fix broken marriages. I have seen hurt individuals forgive and find peace. I know that we can find answers to our problems if we search for them. One requirement for this to happen is to merely believe that change is probable and desire the change. Just like pixie dust, we simply need to believe that it has power to work. Once we see this attitude change, we can see mighty miracles within families, friends, communities and individuals.
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