Why Can't You Be Happy for Me?

So, I have recognized people's reactions when other people have happy news. How do you react when your friend/boyfriend/girlfriend/spouse/family member tells you happy news? Are you sincerely happy for them and show joy for their happiness? Do you act happy but secretly have jealousy in their success? Do you just ignore their success and change the subject to your well-being? I don't know research on this, although there is probably research on this topic. I just find it interesting people that people vary to their reactions to other's success according to their own personal self-esteem.

My personal theory is that when you are satisfied with who you are, you will be happy for others. For example, I had a friend in high school who I knew wasn't happy with who she was. She was extremely insecure and would compare herself to others constantly. Whenever I would tell her happy news, she would act happy but I could always sense "fakeness"in her response. In contrast, another childhood friend who always seemed really confident (although appearances may be deceiving), would be so happy for me. Sometimes she would be more happy for me than I was for myself.

What kind of reaction do you want to give? Do you want to be sincere or do you want to have a "False" sense in your reaction? I think most people aim to be sincere but may struggle in always being sincere.

My personal therapy: I know that this may sound like a very "American" psychology ideas, but trying to improve your self esteem. I don't think focusing on yourself will help improve your self-esteem, but through service your happiness will increase. Service has so many functions to improving your self-esteem. You see from a completely different perspective which give you gratitude for your circumstance. You increase your joy when serving others. You put your selfishness off and think about others needs. It may seems ironic that thinking about others increases your self-esteem and joy, but I have found it very true in life.

So, you can apply my personal theory of life if you want to. It may change your life if you let it.

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